#WhyIStayed

-because I was still a minor and he was my stepfather's employee.
-because I had been convinced that since I was no longer a virgin, no one else would want me.
-because if I broke up with him, I'd face even worse abuse at the hands of my stepfather than I already had.
-because he still swore up and down that he loved me and wanted to marry me as soon as I was old enough.

Someday a longer post will follow.

Christian culture in film-or, why someone felt the need to respond to "50 Shades"

I'll start by saying that I did not read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy.  Well, not in full anyways.  I'm not morally opposed to BDSM, but I read enough to know that what was being portrayed was not in any way healthy or representative of people who have those inclinations.  So when I heard that a movie was coming out, I was indifferent.

And then I heard that a "clean" version of 50SoG was coming out: "Old Fashioned".  I think a more accurate description would be "love story that has nothing to do with BDSM but we're going to premier it the same weekend to offer a nice, wholesome alternative".  I might go see it anyways, even though I wouldn't pay full price.

I've watched other films that are typically seen only in evangelical circles.  Pamela's Prayer is the story of a young woman who struggles with staying pure until marriage.  Only by 'pure', we mean 'never even been kissed until her wedding day'.  It's hailed in ultra-conservative circles as this amazing love story and it's absolutely horrible.  Strong beliefs are all well and good, but for the love of deity they should be expressed by passably good actors.

I tried to watch Fireproof.  I couldn't make it all the way through.  Kirk Cameron will never have a career in the secular movie industry and I'm surprised he still has one at all.

October Baby was passably good and even enjoyable in parts.  The main character is a young woman who discovers that she was the survivor of an abortion attempt.  Religious or not, I think any person would feel disturbed by that news.  Perhaps I was biased since it was also billed as a pro-life movie, but the religious aspects were more subtle.

So...these might not be the best examples.  But they have one thing in common: they aren't going to appeal to much out of a non-mainstream audience.  Other films have been criticized as racist (Alone But Not Alone), but I think a large part of the problem is (aside from limited budgets) that films labeling themselves "Christian" are just not of interest to non-evangelicals.

The characters and situations are not believable.  Maybe some of you are reading this thinking "but everyone I know waited until marriage for sex/kissing/starting a family!".  It's called confirmation bias.  Most people I know...didn't wait until marriage for anything except maybe having children.  Or if they did wait, they didn't announce it Jessica Simpson-style but regarded it as their own private business.  And statistically speaking, most people are not virgins when they marry for the first time.  Is it unfortunate?  Depends on your perspective.  I don't have much of an opinion one way or the other, as long as people are making that decision for themselves and aren't judging others for making different choices.  And that's where the problem lies.  The Good Christian Girl (TM) at my high school was not disliked for being a Christian, she was disliked for being a slut-shaming, homophobic snot.  I'm reasonably certain that Jesus wouldn't have called the pregnant students dirty sluts or defaced the posters for the Gay-Straight Alliance club.  And we all knew she was a Christian, not by her deeds but by the fact that every offensive thing that came out of her mouth was prefaced with "Well, I'm a Christian so...".

Want to make a Christian film that mainstream audiences will also like?  Don't push the religious angle.  Just show good people being good to each other.  Perhaps they have flaws.  Maybe they made mistakes.  Show us Christians who are also into the Goth lifestyle.  Create a GLBT Christian character who DOESN'T convert to being heterosexual but finds a loving and supportive church who accepts them for who they are.  Let's see Christian single moms.  Christians who had premarital sex-maybe they regretted it, maybe they didn't.  A barefoot pro-life hippie Christian who openly protests the Iraq war.

There can be such a thing as a Christian movie that doesn't suck.

I know it's been awhile since I've written anything

I guess you could say the writing bug comes and goes.  Sometimes I can think of a million things to write about (but never have the time!), other times the inspiration just isn't there.

I was sent a link to this Buzzfeed article today: Woman reveals why she decided to film her abortion.  For those who want to watch, it's not graphic at all--the camera stays focused on the woman's face.

I felt ill watching it.  I know the author wanted to create a positive face/spin on abortion and all I could think was "you're part of the problem!".

"Poverty is not an accident.  Like slavery and apartheid, it is man-made and can be removed by the actions of human beings."

RIP Nelson Mandela

Supreme Court decisions

If today's SC ruling on voter rights is any indication, I'm not holding out much hope that they'll overturn DOMA tomorrow.

I just...I cried a little when I heard the news.  It was not THAT long ago that states had the power to disenfranchise minority voters, despite the Constitution granting them the right to vote.

I'm concerned about what happens next.

And if you think we don't need this because racism is no longer a problem...well, I want what you're smoking.

Vengence is mine?

I know I wasn't the only one watching the Gosnell trial fairly closely.  I wanted as much as anyone to see this butcher found guilty.

Today, he was.

A great relief washed over me.  Not that I truly expected he would be found not guilty--the evidence against him was just too much.  And then I read further...Gosnell could face the death penalty for what he did.

I'm torn.

I want him to pay for what he did.  For all those butchered infants, for all the women he hurt through his neglect...justice must be served.  I just don't know if justice is truly served by taking yet another life. 

I keep trying to justify it in my head.  Oh, he's old.  He'll never survive all the appeals.  It's a controversial topic and no one wants to make a martyr for the cause.  All sorts of reasons come up that make me feel less troubled about what an actual death sentence could mean.

Yes, Virginia, there are such things as pro-life atheists.

There are few things more frustrating sometimes than to be non-religious and pro-life. 

Yes, I realize the religion thing is a choice, but if I don't feel the faith in my heart then it's just going through the motions.  I'm not closing myself completely off from the idea of religion--I'm still something of a 'seeker', seeing what's out there and what I feel called to.  For now, it's just not there.  And I'm not going to be like one of the many Catholics in my state whose beliefs directly contradict those of the Church in terms of things like contraception and marriage equality.  Whatever I decide on (if anything), I don't intend to half-ass it.

But I digress.

In the meantime, being agnostic and liberal means that the assumption is typically made that I am also pro-abortion.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I'm anti-war and anti-capital punishment (though I wasn't always), and being pro-life just seems to be the most natural extension of that.  I'm also in favor of universal health care, marriage equality, comprehensive sex-ed, and I don't have a moral opposition to contraception.  So, yes, I tend to vote Democrat.

I'm going extinct.

"If human beings don’t respect human life, we descend rather quickly to a world where the biggest and meanest get to make all the rules."

 I don't want to live in that kind of world.  Do you?