So much in the past few weeks

With the Supreme Court's decision ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, I've been seeing a whole lot of love and happiness in the air.

And also a whole lotta ugly from opponents of marriage equality.  From Sarah Palin calling for certain Supreme Court judges to be impeached (hint: it doesn't work that way) to FRC leaders claiming that same-sex marriage will lead to more babies born out of wedlock (I don't understand his logic either), the backlash has made me weep for humanity.

Marriage equality is not designed to be an attack on religion.  It is intended to promote the dignity of LGBT persons by allowing them to have their partnerships recognized by law and their families recognized as legitimate--by law.  What churches choose to do is up to them.

Churches have never lost the right to decide who can and cannot be married in their church.
-Protestant couple thinks the local Catholic cathedral would be simply gorgeous to hold their ceremony in?  Not happening if the priest says no.
-Black members of a predominantly white church?  Yeah, you might need to find a different location for your wedding.  And yes, that is still perfectly legal, albeit appalling.
-Dress not church appropriate? Not getting married today.
To say nothing of the various requirements to get married in an LDS temple...

If you feel like marriage equality is an attack on your faith, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your faith.

Things the Pope says

A week ago, the Pope announced the women "don't have to breed like rabbits".  I'm probably taking this out of context, as much of the U.S. media did.

And yes, he's technically right.  In North America at least, there are means a woman can obtain to space out her pregnancies or avoid it altogether.  The RCC only endorses one means of avoiding conception, and NFP requires a degree of self-control.  It requires that women have not only the desire but also the ability to tell their partners/husbands "no, I cannot have sex tonight" and for their husbands to respect that (for those who weren't sure, marital rape is a crime in all 50 states).

The Pope will not endorse artificial contraception.  Most people may not understand why, but it's important to understand that the Catholic definition of marriage is not necessarily the same as the secular definition.  The secular world defines marriage as a joining of two non-related persons, the reasons for their choosing marriage are open to individual interpretation.  Catholics (and many Protestants) view it as specifically designed for a cisgendered man and woman, open to the intent of reproduction and raising their family in the church.  Is the secular definition any better/worse than the Christian one?  Personally I do not think so, and feel that at the very least, civil/secular marriage should be subject only to laws regarding incest and consent--that is to say, the couple entering into the union should not already be blood relations and should be entering into the agreement of their own volition.  Gender and sex are irrelevant to the secular union.  The religious institution, however, predates the modern secular world.  Houses of worship should be free to restrict who they wish to perform a ceremony for, provided they are abiding by laws that are intended to protect the well being of citizen.  No church should be able to FORCE matrimony on an unwilling woman (I should say individual but it tends to be the female who has less say in her future than the male in many religious communities).

Some religious groups follow a "Quiverfull" philosophy.  A famous example of this would be Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of "19 Kids and Counting".  Sex, in a QF marriage, is not something a wife is allowed to deny her husband.  They are brainwashed from a young age to serve their husband in all things and the marriage bed is one of them.  The concept of marital rape is not one that exists in these circles--consent is considered automatically granted when the ring is placed on the finger.

Because these groups tend to have large families, it's assumed that in Catholicism the rules are the same.  NFP, however, requires a respect for avoiding sexual intercourse for the sake of the dignity of the wife.  This is not something found in Quiverfull circles.

The Pope is not saying "disobey the Church's stance on contraception".  He's saying "it's okay to use NFP or periodic abstinence to space out pregnancy for the sake of your health."

#WhyIStayed

-because I was still a minor and he was my stepfather's employee.
-because I had been convinced that since I was no longer a virgin, no one else would want me.
-because if I broke up with him, I'd face even worse abuse at the hands of my stepfather than I already had.
-because he still swore up and down that he loved me and wanted to marry me as soon as I was old enough.

Someday a longer post will follow.

Christian culture in film-or, why someone felt the need to respond to "50 Shades"

I'll start by saying that I did not read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy.  Well, not in full anyways.  I'm not morally opposed to BDSM, but I read enough to know that what was being portrayed was not in any way healthy or representative of people who have those inclinations.  So when I heard that a movie was coming out, I was indifferent.

And then I heard that a "clean" version of 50SoG was coming out: "Old Fashioned".  I think a more accurate description would be "love story that has nothing to do with BDSM but we're going to premier it the same weekend to offer a nice, wholesome alternative".  I might go see it anyways, even though I wouldn't pay full price.

I've watched other films that are typically seen only in evangelical circles.  Pamela's Prayer is the story of a young woman who struggles with staying pure until marriage.  Only by 'pure', we mean 'never even been kissed until her wedding day'.  It's hailed in ultra-conservative circles as this amazing love story and it's absolutely horrible.  Strong beliefs are all well and good, but for the love of deity they should be expressed by passably good actors.

I tried to watch Fireproof.  I couldn't make it all the way through.  Kirk Cameron will never have a career in the secular movie industry and I'm surprised he still has one at all.

October Baby was passably good and even enjoyable in parts.  The main character is a young woman who discovers that she was the survivor of an abortion attempt.  Religious or not, I think any person would feel disturbed by that news.  Perhaps I was biased since it was also billed as a pro-life movie, but the religious aspects were more subtle.

So...these might not be the best examples.  But they have one thing in common: they aren't going to appeal to much out of a non-mainstream audience.  Other films have been criticized as racist (Alone But Not Alone), but I think a large part of the problem is (aside from limited budgets) that films labeling themselves "Christian" are just not of interest to non-evangelicals.

The characters and situations are not believable.  Maybe some of you are reading this thinking "but everyone I know waited until marriage for sex/kissing/starting a family!".  It's called confirmation bias.  Most people I know...didn't wait until marriage for anything except maybe having children.  Or if they did wait, they didn't announce it Jessica Simpson-style but regarded it as their own private business.  And statistically speaking, most people are not virgins when they marry for the first time.  Is it unfortunate?  Depends on your perspective.  I don't have much of an opinion one way or the other, as long as people are making that decision for themselves and aren't judging others for making different choices.  And that's where the problem lies.  The Good Christian Girl (TM) at my high school was not disliked for being a Christian, she was disliked for being a slut-shaming, homophobic snot.  I'm reasonably certain that Jesus wouldn't have called the pregnant students dirty sluts or defaced the posters for the Gay-Straight Alliance club.  And we all knew she was a Christian, not by her deeds but by the fact that every offensive thing that came out of her mouth was prefaced with "Well, I'm a Christian so...".

Want to make a Christian film that mainstream audiences will also like?  Don't push the religious angle.  Just show good people being good to each other.  Perhaps they have flaws.  Maybe they made mistakes.  Show us Christians who are also into the Goth lifestyle.  Create a GLBT Christian character who DOESN'T convert to being heterosexual but finds a loving and supportive church who accepts them for who they are.  Let's see Christian single moms.  Christians who had premarital sex-maybe they regretted it, maybe they didn't.  A barefoot pro-life hippie Christian who openly protests the Iraq war.

There can be such a thing as a Christian movie that doesn't suck.

I know it's been awhile since I've written anything

I guess you could say the writing bug comes and goes.  Sometimes I can think of a million things to write about (but never have the time!), other times the inspiration just isn't there.

I was sent a link to this Buzzfeed article today: Woman reveals why she decided to film her abortion.  For those who want to watch, it's not graphic at all--the camera stays focused on the woman's face.

I felt ill watching it.  I know the author wanted to create a positive face/spin on abortion and all I could think was "you're part of the problem!".

"Poverty is not an accident.  Like slavery and apartheid, it is man-made and can be removed by the actions of human beings."

RIP Nelson Mandela

Supreme Court decisions

If today's SC ruling on voter rights is any indication, I'm not holding out much hope that they'll overturn DOMA tomorrow.

I just...I cried a little when I heard the news.  It was not THAT long ago that states had the power to disenfranchise minority voters, despite the Constitution granting them the right to vote.

I'm concerned about what happens next.

And if you think we don't need this because racism is no longer a problem...well, I want what you're smoking.

Vengence is mine?

I know I wasn't the only one watching the Gosnell trial fairly closely.  I wanted as much as anyone to see this butcher found guilty.

Today, he was.

A great relief washed over me.  Not that I truly expected he would be found not guilty--the evidence against him was just too much.  And then I read further...Gosnell could face the death penalty for what he did.

I'm torn.

I want him to pay for what he did.  For all those butchered infants, for all the women he hurt through his neglect...justice must be served.  I just don't know if justice is truly served by taking yet another life. 

I keep trying to justify it in my head.  Oh, he's old.  He'll never survive all the appeals.  It's a controversial topic and no one wants to make a martyr for the cause.  All sorts of reasons come up that make me feel less troubled about what an actual death sentence could mean.

Yes, Virginia, there are such things as pro-life atheists.

There are few things more frustrating sometimes than to be non-religious and pro-life. 

Yes, I realize the religion thing is a choice, but if I don't feel the faith in my heart then it's just going through the motions.  I'm not closing myself completely off from the idea of religion--I'm still something of a 'seeker', seeing what's out there and what I feel called to.  For now, it's just not there.  And I'm not going to be like one of the many Catholics in my state whose beliefs directly contradict those of the Church in terms of things like contraception and marriage equality.  Whatever I decide on (if anything), I don't intend to half-ass it.

But I digress.

In the meantime, being agnostic and liberal means that the assumption is typically made that I am also pro-abortion.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I'm anti-war and anti-capital punishment (though I wasn't always), and being pro-life just seems to be the most natural extension of that.  I'm also in favor of universal health care, marriage equality, comprehensive sex-ed, and I don't have a moral opposition to contraception.  So, yes, I tend to vote Democrat.

I'm going extinct.

"If human beings don’t respect human life, we descend rather quickly to a world where the biggest and meanest get to make all the rules."

 I don't want to live in that kind of world.  Do you?

40 years of death

Forty years ago today was the infamous Roe v. Wade decision.

Here are four women who decided that the children were more than just "products of conception": http://www.feministsforlife.org/news/four-women.htm.  And I'm hoping those numbers grow!


In other news, Planned Parenthood is no longer calling themselves 'pro-choice'.  They appear to be claiming some kind of moral gray area exists.  I don't even have words for this.

Sometimes the man surprises

Hubby and I made tonight our date night, which these days means picking up a movie from Redbox and making dinner.  He likes various types of movies but I never saw him take interest in anything that could even remotely be considered a "chick flick".  Plus, he doesn't exactly share all of my views, particularly with regards to abortion.

So I was a bit surprised when he texted me with "So, I saw they had the movie October Baby, are you interested?"

I responded: "Yes.  You do know what it's about, right?"

"Yes, I read the synopsis.  Looked interesting!"

Could my husband be switching sides?  I'm crossing my fingers!

As of this posting, Maine, Maryland, and Washington have passed (by popular vote, a first!), the right of gays and lesbians to marry.

Congratulations to you all!

Upcoming elections

I have gone back and forth on the presidental race, not sure who to vote for.

My conscience will not allow me to support a candidate that does not support LGBT rights, nor can I in good faith vote for someone who does not have a consistent view on the sanctity of life.

Romney does not have a consistent view.  His stance on abortion changes depending on who he's talking to.  The only thing he's consistent about is his inconsistency.  Furthermore, he has given no indication that he will take steps to ensure that the other vulnerable among us (most notably the poor) are also protected.  I was as appalled as many others when he referred to 47% of the country as people little better than freeloaders.  He is out of touch with most of the country, period.

And yet there's Obama.  As a Democrat, he cannot be counted on to be pro-life.  Very few Democrats are openly so, I don't think they can even get party support without openly condoning the murder of the unborn.  And yet...he's made historically significant steps in making sure health care is available to all, and in acknowledging the need for equality for LGBT families. 

I don't believe that abortion will be ended through criminalization, but rather through a strengthening of the social safety net that ensures a safe world for every child to be born into.  I certainly don't trust the Libertarian party to maintain that safety net!  I used to identify as Libertarian, but I found it lacking in compassion.  We all have responsibilities towards each other and it is troubling to me that people would neglect that duty to their fellow man.  I've been accused of being a Socialist, but if that's true then Socialism has I think made me more compassionate.

Why gay rights matter to me

I went back and forth about whether or not I should post this. 

Ultimately, someone being GLBT does not affect me.  It makes no difference in my life if the two old ladies in my complex are life partners or just trying to stretch their Social Security checks by sharing a 1-bedroom unit.  Which restroom my waiter uses doesn't matter, as long as they wash their hands afterwards.

I have the luxury of being part of the status quo.  I am a woman married to a man.  Up until about a decade ago, in all fifty states this was the only legally recognized form of marriage.  There were other restrictions if you go further back--when President Obama was born, there were still states that didn't recognize his parents' marriage as being valid.  Now?  Interracial marriage is legal, and churches are still not required to perform interracial ceremonies (or mixed-faith ceremonies, or any other marriage they disapprove of). 

So people got comfortable.  They grew compliant.  They didn't think about their privilege.

And marriage is still considered the highest standard that all relationships should aspire to.  Just ask anyone who's still single after 30 and has parents pressing for grandchildren :). 

Yes, people who are against homosexual marriage are painted as bigots, intolerant, etc.  And it's hurtful.

But homosexuals face active discrimination, are assaulted for their sexuality, rejected by their families, forced into abusive conversion therapy that has been proven to nothing more than damage people.  Some like to pretend that they don't exist.  Homosexuals are compared to pedophiles and those who would have sex with animals.  Yes, really.

In some countries, homosexuality is punishable by death.  The American Family Association and Exodus International ACTIVELY WORKED TO GET BILLS PASSED IN UGANDA THAT WOULD CALL FOR THE EXECUTION OF HOMOSEXUALS.  Who supports the American Family Association?  Well, Dan Cathy of Chick-Fil-A, for starters.  Which puts the boycott in a whole new perspective.  Congress in 2010 considered a bill that would condemn this action.  The Family Research Council lobbied against it.

I acknowledge that it's frustrating to have your beliefs labeled as narrow-minded, bigoted, etc.  However, please consider the bigger picture.

The Distress of the Privileged.  Fantastic article.

Fried chicken and me

So in other news, Chick-Fil-A's founder is against gay marriage. This has led to blog postings, Facebook memes, and various other discussions on the topic. Oh, and boycotts. One of the fun things about being pro-life is that it's often assumed that I'm Catholic (I'm not), or some kind of fundamentalist Christian (no, but I wear the uniform sometimes), or that I vote Republican (uh, sometimes but I'm not a party-line voter).

My co-workers think I'm either some kind of uber-liberal snob because I thought "50 Shades of Grey" was a poorly-written piece of trash, or a conservative Christian because I dress modestly in the office and don't talk about getting wasted on the weekends. My more liberal friends assume I toe the same party line as them and my conservative friends think I'm a leftie wingnut.

Some days, a woman can't win :)

I do support gay marriage *gasp shock*. I hope the voters of Washington state pass R74 and set a precedent for the rest of the country. Well, actually, because I do view it as a civil right I don't think it should be left up to the democratic process--but 'extremists' like me don't get elected. Where I disagree with many liberals is that I also think churches should be allowed to say "no, we won't perform X ceremony because it goes against our beliefs". This is fine, this is within their rights and this is NOT A BAD THING. Do you want the government telling covens they have to allow everyone to dance naked in their circle who wants to, forcing Dianic groups to allow men, or that your occult group has to put a safety cover on their ritual sword?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

If you're not a member of that church, don't get all huffy and puffy about how they do things. If you are a member and you don't like how they are running things, vote with your feet. But do make the effort to understand where people are coming from. Conversion Diary has a very calm, rational explanation of the Catholic concept of Natural Law, for example. No, you don't have to agree! Just...read it. And think about it. Then go play Xbox or complain about me on your own blog.

However, from a civil perspective--there are over a thousand federal rights granted to married couples that are not given to same-sex couples.
 What harm does it do anyone if these rights are extended?
We do not have a limited number of rights. If my gay neighbors are able to get legally married, my husband and I aren't suddenly losing any of our own legally recognized rights. I don't have any good reason to not want to share these rights.

And I don't understand why people wouldn't want to share these rights either.

I keep hearing of Catholics who become atheists/agnostics. "Recovering Catholic" is a term I hear a LOT. This came as a shock: Atheist blogger converting to Catholicism. After reading it and another article (Prominent atheist blogger converts to Catholicism?"), I'm beginning to wonder if trends are changing! Leah Libresco admits she doesn't quite know where she stands with the Church's teachings on homosexuality. I'll be honest, it's where the RCC and I butt heads and will likely always do so. My belief in the need for equal rights for LBTQ citizens only grows stronger every year, even when I grow more conservative in my other beliefs.

Because history fascinates me, today marks the 581st anniversary of the martyrdom of Joan of Arc. Fascinating woman! Hardly a surprise that she was revered by the French Resistance in WWII.

Facebook

Well, I got a Facebook but I think I'll be dropping it. Honestly--I don't have the time to keep up with something like that. Or maybe I'll just use it to follow organizations I support? I really don't know.

I can't believe I'm ranting about the liberal media.

A lot of controversy has arisen over requiring transvaginal ultrasounds prior to an abortion. Or, for that matter, making the woman look at her ultrasound photo at all (which I can't say I have a problem with...people should know what they're really doing during a termination).

I spoke with a woman who is a nurse and has assisted or performed in abortions*. The TV ultrasound isn't some optional way to shame a woman, it's the only way to determine fetal age during the first trimester. And this is rather important as it determines what procedure can be used (or even if they can perform the abortion at all).

The abortion industry is clearly not very well regulated, if rules like this need to be enacted in the first place. And based on some of the slaughterhouses that have made the news in the past year, this is hardly surprising!


*if you are so inclined, please pray for Ann in Seattle, that she may have a change of heart and no longer agree to terminate pregnancies.

summing it up

Now, I don't wear miniskirts...but I still fully agree with the sentiment.